ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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