how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
