yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
