I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
