We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
