Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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