Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
