great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
