I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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