Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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