We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize