if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I love you. Go after that dick
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
