i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
