I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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