i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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