jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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