K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
