kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
