I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
