so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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