Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
