I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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