Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
