someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
