I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I am puke
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
