she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
