I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
