David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
