She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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