waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize