508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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