Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
