Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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