I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
