I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
