Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
