He kissed a someone with a penis
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
