how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize