I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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