i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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