and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
