i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
