i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize