No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
third nipple confirmed
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
