after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize