Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
