matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
