I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
