There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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