the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
As shirtless as possible
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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