i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
