What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
