I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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