If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
