My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
