I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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