K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
