how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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