I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
