Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
