they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
