That's intense
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
