Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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