I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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