Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
