I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
