Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
