I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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