Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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