how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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