Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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