I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
