I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's blow job season.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
