I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
