saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
