the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
