mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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