It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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