Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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