last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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