What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
